I’m here! I really am alive and doing quite well. Albeit rather hum-de-dum. But I’m here!
Easter was lovely, as usual. Such a great time to ponder the big things and be drawn back to what matters. I’m thankful for those moments spent among the sea of people at Mass, a mere being among the masses, sharing in His great love. It’s rather remarkable, when you think about it.
It’s taken some oompf to get going these days. But with some lows always come a few highs, and that’s what helps me keep on, keeping on.
When I caught myself on the brink of weeping last week, over the usual things–things I should know by now that I have absolutely no control over…–I told myself to snap out of it. Get on with life. Things happen. Life changes.
Then I skipped the weeping and went right into the full on sobbing instead. You know the kind: big, slobbery tears, chest heaving, glasses foggy.
It’s amazing what can seemingly be lifted as a result of such cries. You feel refreshed. As if you’ve let out all the chaos and are somewhat able to comprehend it all a bit clearer.
Give it a day. Any sense of control you thought you had will vanish soon enough and you’ll be back wondering where to go from here…
But enough about my tendency to break down as a result of my not being able to control my future to the extent which would make me most comfortable… I’ve been embraced by the important parts of life and been cared for in a way I never realized I needed.
Old friendships have been reignited, past hopes reevaluated, and new dreams born. It’s truly up in the air where I may go from here. I guess that’s what keeps it most exciting, the not knowing.
But for a gal like me, oy. That’s a feat. Stepping back and letting go.
So I just put the brilliance of Cheryl Strayed on repeat in my mind…