cope, healing heartbreak, hope, Munich II., ramblings, write it out, writing from the heart

The opposite of closure.


Slowly, even before you said “I don’t know what I want.”
Faster, when you said you did know, and it wasn’t with me.
A bit haphazardly when you returned with need for closure, yet with a need for continued friendship.

And now all at once.

Because actions speak louder than words — and words left unanswered say more than any words could attempt to convey.

You said you wanted a friendship. What you really wanted was a second chance on reserve. 

And that’s the opposite of closure.

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dear, Munich II.

Dear ________,

[Munich. July 2013.]

Munich U-Bahn (subway)…you certainly know how to stress a MidWest girl out. I know you’re not so fond of this girl always flubbing up which way to go and misunderstanding your beautiful map — but let’s be a little more gentle with each other, OK? I won’t throw fits anymore about you being late or too full or stinky if you promise to be a little more understanding that this Kansas girl is just now dabbling in the public transportation game… But, THANK YOU for your Royal Baby birth updates in the stations. I could kiss you right on the mouth for that goodness!

Air Conditioning… I‘ve always been thankful for your existence. I still remember attending elementary school late into May in classrooms with no air conditioning. (I cannot imagine how we coped, but we did. Enough to even cram 300+ smelly little kids into the gym/cafeteria for the annual talent show. That was dedication.) In Munich now it’s exceptionally warm, well, not Kansas hot, but warm nonetheless. And with no air conditioning, well, I am a grumpy mess. So I salute you, air conditioning, for your consistent comfort throughout my life. 

Ikea… I love ya, you know that, but for some reason you induce panic attacks that rival those of which I get while navigating Forever 21. And, having to take my goods home via bus, with two subway transfers, well, that induces a completely different panic attack. But, as always, you’re totally worth it and my sad budget thanks you.

Tumblr… Thank you for providing me with hours upon hours of belly-aching laughter. 

The Golden Girls… I’ve loved ya since I would lie at the foot of my parents bed every night and watch you after the news. I am re-watching every season and cannot get over how funny it is. I loved ya when I was 5 (though I didn’t get any of the jokes), and I’ll love ya until I’m 105.

First dates… you are a tricky thing. So, naturally, when I go on one with someone who only understands German, well you’re nearly impossible. But thank goodness for the quirky chapters in my German book that covered such topics. I’m not complaining, I always like a challenge.

Last week’s date… you were charming and handsome and perfect on paper. But, as it sometimes goes, our chemistry was nearly nonexistent. Which stinks, of course, but I am not worried for either of us. Sometimes, it’s just not there. And maybe that initial lack of chemistry is something worth being grateful for. It saved us a lot of time and heartache, right? No hard feelings.

Lost iPhone… I miss you more than you will ever know, unless, of course, a miracle occurs. Which in my mind still isn’t out of the question. **Waves up at sky to St. Anthony**

Being able to post .gifs in emails… this phenomenon changed. my. life. 

My new roommates… I couldn’t have asked for a kinder welcome, or greater new friends to have in this city. I’m so blessed I found you guys.

Mom and dad… I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a million times over: Thank you. Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.

For everything.


xo

“She was afraid, and the afraid, she realized, sought opportunities for bravery in love.” -Lorrie Moore
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baby cambridge, everything royal, July 2013, royal baby, Wills and Kate

Baby Boy Cambridge!

 Congratulations to the 
(Or, one of my favorite names for them that I’ve heard: Bill and Cathy Cambridge. 😉




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I must rest my vocal chords now since having squealed with every update since yesterday morning. In the meantime, this is me until they pick a name: 

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hope, humans of new york, life lesson, little reminders of life, noted blog of Love, read it love it, saw it loved it

Noted Blog of Love: Humans of New York.

“It was easier than I thought it’d be.”

 “What’s the most romantic thing he’s ever done?”
“Oh God, he’s hopeless. During our first year of marriage, he celebrated our anniversary every single month.”

I took this photo just a few minutes ago. She was sitting outside of a bar. As I photographed her, she kept inhaling deeply, then exhaling slowly. “Man,” I thought, “I’m really annoying this girl.” Until…

“What was the saddest moment of your life?”
“Right now.”
“What happened?”
“The person I love wants to take a break. He’s still inside.” 

“Do you mind if I take your photograph?”
“Are you working for Obama?”
No time like bro time.
I had heard of Humans of New York a while ago, but had never taken the time to actually look into the blog. Then, the other day, I came across it and read through it for two straight hours. It made me smile, cry, laugh, and filled me with so much hope and love for humanity. That’s what the best blogs are supposed to do, right? 
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