(Note: LROL is for Little Reminders of Love.)
LROL: At what age do people typically begin to go on dates?James: Usually mid to late high school, I guess (so… 15-18), but it’s not uncommon to be a bit before or after that, either. That said, it’s a very different type of date then to the sort I’d go on nowadays.
LROL: Who asks whom on a date, normally?
James: The guy, of course! Well, that’s not entirely true. I’ve been ‘asked out’ a few times by girls previously, I suppose, but in a very informal, casual way. I think this is becoming more common (and props to those who do it!).
LROL: What is a typical first date like?James: Back in high school it was usually together with other friends, maybe to the movies or swimming pool. Post-school, it’s more likely dinner or drinks, or even just a coffee at a cafe. I’m a big cafe fan, it’s much more relaxed!
LROL: What is culturally “expected” of you and your date?James: Nothing in particular, just getting to know each other a bit better and sussing out whether you want to have another date.
LROL: Who decides what the date will be?James: Generally whoever asks, but not always. Like, if the askee can’t make the proposed time, they might make a counter-suggestion.
LROL: Who pays?James: More often than not the guy, but I’ve had girls jump in to pay for themselves before I had a chance to say otherwise. For dates further down the track, it’s more of a pay-for-yourself or take-turns kind of thing, which I like.LROL: What are the post-date norms?James: I had a discussion with my (female) housemate just the other day about the “3-day rule”… We both think it’s very silly. But everyone has differing opinions about who should do what, and I’m sure some still adhere to older rules like that. I think it depends on how the date went – how/when you get in contact says a lot about how you feel.
LROL: What would you change about the dating culture of where you live?James: My city isn’t so big, which makes it a little awkward – everyone knows someone you know! Also I dislike it when things are too formal – not a ‘proper’ date fan, to be honest, but I usually can manage to avoid them.LROL: What do you like about the dating culture of where you live?James: There isn’t too much pressure on either party, which is nice. It’s often more of a “we’ll just see how this goes…” kind of thing.LROL: What was your best date?James: It was in Sweden, actually – we went out for lunch and enjoyed chatting so much that we ended up having afternoon tea and dinner together, too!LROL: And your worst?
James: Probably the most ‘proper’ date I’ve been on, I got a bit dressed up to go out to dinner at a restaurant. I felt rather awkward, and she was nice but we just didn’t have very much in common.LROL: Anything you’d like to add that I forgot to ask?James: I feel like I should add some sort of disclaimer. I really don’t have a lot of ‘dating’ experience (‘dating’ seems a little outdated to me… I see how it could be appealing, but I prefer things to be much less formal), and of course I can’t speak for the whole of my city, let alone country.
Thanks James! It’s great to see things from the male perspective sometimes. I think it’s so funny that so many of us think the three-day rule is a bit bogus, yet we all follow it to some extent! ; )
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