(Note: LROL is for Little Reminders of Love.)
LROL: At what age do people typically begin to go on dates?
GR: 12 years old. Unless you count supervised, arranged dates. Then that shrinks down to 1 year old.
LROL: Who asks whom on a date, normally?
GR: The party with confidence. Statistically the male, but I feel like that paradigm is shifting. Of the last three (new; blind) dates I’ve been on, the female has suggested the time and place. Although I made initial contact in each case.
LROL: What is a typical first date like?GR: In my experience, this is generally a post-dinner date over drinks and appetizers. Rarely, a ore-dinner date fielding out the possibility of enough interest/chemistry warranting dinner (and/or more).
LROL: What is culturally “expected” of you and your date?GR: This question feels vague or ambiguous. I feel like the expectation is that the initial meeting will involve a crossfire-style interview process of lifestyle questions that basically gauge personality, sense of humour, financial status, education, and overall lifestyle compatibility. A given level of awkwardness is generally expected, so some are better at minimizing the social disconnect than others. I’m in sales, so I generally find myself very relaxed and confident (sometimes over-confident?) in my discourse. Personally, I leave a very narrow window for low intelligence/witty banter.
LROL: Who decides what the date will be?GR: With the exception of a VERY traditional gender role-player (in which case the female will pointedly leave it up to the pursuant male) I feel like this is generally suggested by whomever initiated the date, and is rarely disapproved by the other party.
LROL: Who pays?GR: I don’t ever see a reason for the female to pay. Courtship is anthropologically sacred, and should be bankrolled by the pursuant male in the same way an engagement ring is a demonstration of a financial preparedness/ability to support a mate/family. Having said that, if there is little or no interest in pursuing the other party, a silent ducking out on the bill is not unheard of.
LROL: What are the post-date norms?GR: I think this depends on the individual natures of both parties involved. By the end of a (successful) first date, the pursuant male should be reasonably confident in what sort of follow-up is appropriate/desired/will result in a future rendezvous. Personally, I like an immediate text msg post-date (within the hour) along the lines of, “I had a great time! I’d like to do it again!” give or take humour or established shared jokes/anecdotes. This also takes the pressure off of both parties, and allows the female to respond at her leisure as to whether or not another date is in the books.
LROL: What would you change about the dating culture of where you live?GR: I don’t really think there is much I would change. I enjoy the freedom and diversity of people I have the opportunity to meet and how I’m able to conduct myself.
LROL: What do you like about the dating culture of where you live?GR: I believe I answered this in my previous response.LROL: What was your best date?GR: Haha. Without exploring too much detail, we shared a rather impressive evening of public witty banter over drinks that continued into a two-year romance. It became clear very quickly that we shared a similar sense of humour and lifestyle ideals. We became intimate within a few more datesLROL: And your worst?
GR: We met at a local bar for drinks. It wasn’t horrible, but it was obvious after several minutes that we didn’t have much in common. We ended the date at the first opportunity, and mutually decided afterward motto see each other again. It actually wasn’t that bad I suppose lol.
LROL: Anything you’d like to add that I forgot to ask?GR: Am I amazing? Yes. Yes I am. I am a real treat. And strangely enough, still eligible. Heh.
Thanks so much, Greg — It was great hearing from a male perspective! And ladies, he’s available.