au pairing, college, love, northern germany

Where I left my heart.

{stamps of where i left my heart, on the map of germany above my bed.}

“But Anna, you’ll be in my herz for immer.” – the little one
  translation: you’ll be in my heart forever.
that’s what the little one, the one i’ve watched grow since my arrival last may, told me on our way home from kindergarten the day before i left for home. (well, my home in kansas. i can truly say that eckernförde is now a home to me, and i have a family there.)

i decided to come back to kansas after my seven months in germany because i knew i needed to finish my degree as soon as possible. i have one semester left, plus one summer course to go before i am done. finished. fertig. i initially planned on only staying in germany for the summer, but ultimately stayed longer for various reasons. mostly because i fell in love with my host family. i adore them. loved being apart of their banter and felt like their big sister. i loved my city. i loved my friends. but it was time to come home and finish what i started four years ago.

so after a heart to heart with many dear friends and family, i decided to pack up and move back to kansas to knock this degree out of the park.

but, as my dear friend whispered to me, as we hugged goodbye in the middle of the street of kiel, tears rolling down our cheeks:


“This isn’t goodbye, Anna. I know you will be back. You belong here.”

and that’s what i think, too. i know i’ll be back to that lovely side of the pond as soon as possible. because jobs are all over the world, and just so happens that my friends & family are, too.

but first, friends, i gotta finish this little project of a degree i started– as much as my heart aches for the ones i had to leave.

Do you ever miss him? 
Every day. Every minute. 
Every minute, she says. 
Yes, it’s that way, isn’t it?


5 thoughts on “Where I left my heart.

  1. this was gorgeous. and so life-affirming. i feel the same way about being over there. definitely need a long talk about this in the near future, girl 🙂 and i so love that quote. isn't it time traveler's wife? gah, so gorgeous.


  2. i need to pick your brain. I au paired in a teeny tiny village called bruttig fankel in rheinland pfalz for 7 months. 2009-2010. I no longer feel like California is my home, and I have been dreaming of returning ever since. Can we exchange contact information??


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