2009, christmas 2008, cope, family, gma allen, God, heartbreak, life lesson, little reminders of life, love, memories, missing you, sophomore year, truth, winter 2009

God Only Knows.

Dearest Gma,
Its been a long time, but i know that you are listening to the thoughts i fail to transcribe; the thoughts i have of you everyday; how much i miss you, how much i love you. Its been mundane down here, everybody’s trying to get by. The days are short, the wind, oh so chilly, and daylight short and often hard to come by.
We missed you so incredibly much at Christmas this year.
{Considering you taught us what Christmas is all about, after all.}

{Christmas Circa: 1994}
Love,
Laughter,
Joy,
& Peace.

I knew you were right there with us, watching over us, guiding us along with your support. Many times throughout the day i thought i heard your laughter, i thought i saw you in the other room, but it wasn’t you, and my heart broke a little more each time i was brought back to reality. Midnight Mass was beautiful and brought peace to my heart knowing you were safe in the arms of God. How i wish to be right there with you.
Sometimes, when i think about you, my heart misses you so much it hurts, and i just have to distract myself with something to ease the pain. as if i’m trying to trick my mind into thinking it was all just a dream.
i have a lot of dreams about you. i like to think its really you in them. but sometimes i think i am just so wishful that my mind concocts them to soothe me. its oh so bittersweet. i love you so much, i just want you to know that. i want you to know how special you are to me. how special you have and always will be to me. please, never forget that.
i could go on for hours, repeating myself to you over and over. However, i must go to bed, perhaps i’ll see you in my dreams. Know that i love you, and i always will.

Love always,
Anna Banana

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